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Bereavement following any attempt at reunion after adoption, fostering or separation of any kind brings extra emotions and feelings.  Other people often have difficulty understanding the grief you are experiencing for somebody you have never met or met only briefly.

Here at Bereavement-Network, we can offer understanding for those who have experienced bereavement following adoption or separation.

Members of Bereavement-Network communicate with each other by telephone, letter and email.  Occasional meetings are held so members can get together and discuss the many difficult issues raised by bereavement.

Our website has an In Memoriam section for you to write dedications for those who have died.

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Bereavement Related To Adoption

1. The double bereavement must be acknowledged - the loss by adoption and then the loss by death.
 
2. The present need to grieve, regardless of when the death occurred, must be acknowledged.
 
3. The 'usual' grieving process applies but when adoption is involved there are added adoption dimensions:
 
  - a need to know circumstances
  - a need to know about the person
  - a need to be able to make substitute links
  - a need to engage in 'ritual'
  - a need to have grief acknowledged
  - a need to confront other connected losses
 
4. Practical steps in the grieving process:
 
  - visiting grave/memorial
  - rituals - lighting candles, flowers, etc.
  - information gathering - death certificates, press reports, etc.
- joining a suitable support group
 
5. Making substitute links:
 
  - contacting other family members
  - contact with others in similar situations - sharing experiences
  - offering and receiving support from those who understand

 

In order for anyone else to truly grasp a situation we are going through they must "walk in our moccasins" as the Native American saying goes. In a support group everyone wears those shoes, even if they're not the same size or colour. According to Carl Jung, when we share sorrows or difficulties we become "wounded healers".  We are experts who can mutually console one another because we have intimate experience with that particular wound and its manifestations.

 



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Visit our sister website:

Rejection-Network: 

Support and advice for those who have experienced rejection relating to adoption, fostering or family separation.